Why do we worry - Moments of Reset #momentsofreset #coachpav #calmthefdownkit

Why Do We Worry?

By Coach Pav

Featured Kit: Calm The F Down MINI Kit


There are several benefits that can come from worrying. By being concerned about the future, we can proactively work to keep ourselves safe, happy, and healthy. If you were never worried about paying bills or having food on the table, you probably wouldn’t have much motivation to find a job or advance your career. 


Issues arise, however, when worrying overtakes your life. When you can’t go on a date or a treip because all you think about are the worst case scenarios, something needs to change. 


There are biological reasons for worrying. Two studies conducted in the US and Japan and published in the journal Psychology A recent study looked at the relationship between the self and worry by focusing on five phenomena: 

  • ​​worry about the present, 
  • bothersome concerns in the present, 
  • regret for the past, 
  • anxiety about the future, 
  • unpleasant experience in the past


We like certainty. When things are uncertain, we get worried.


The same happens when things don’t go as expected, such as when something happened in the past that was bothersome. In the case of love, a previous breakup might make you worried that the same thing will happen in the present or future. So, you use your experiences as a reason to worry about things you can’t foresee.

Based on the study, researchers concluded that the key to stop worrying is for us to detach ourselves from concerns that involve the self. Another way to say this is, don’t worry about the things you can’t control. Your next relationship might go awry, or it could be the fairytale you’ve been dreaming of. You just don’t know. 


So, instead of worrying, face the problem head-on.


This can be easier said than done, I know. But it’s essential to analyze what you’re really worried about so you can identify things that are and aren’t within your control. 

In your previous relationship, for example, what happened to make it go so wrong? Were there red flags that you missed? Did you take advantage of your partner, assuming they’d stick with you forever even if you mistreated them? Were you just not compatible, and you spent too long trying to make something work that would never make you happy?


Once you can face the issues head-on, you’ll be able to deal with them and understand how to approach a similar situation in the present or future to get a more ideal outcome.

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